HSP Food for thought: Anger, rage, complaining and feeling threatened, suffocated, or victimized can offer valuable clues about boundaries you may need to set.
You cannot simultaneously set a limit with someone and also take care of their feelings: they may feel hurt, angry or disappointed, which is not your problem.
Boundaries sound like this: “If you…” for example, don’t pay the rent on time”…then I…” for example, will ask you to move out. Keep it short and simple.
When you begin to set boundaries, you may feel ashamed and afraid.
You will set boundaries when you are ready and not one minute sooner.
You are allowed to say, for example, “Don’t vent your anger out on me, I won’t have it” and “I won’t let you disrespect me. If you can’t respect me, then stay away.” If others behave with disrespect, you have the right to tell them so, to ask them to stop and to avoid them in the future if they choose to continue.
Nobody can demand to know your mind or your business: what you share with others about matters that concern you is determined by what feels right to you and not what they want.
Nobody has the right to tell you what to think, to feel or do: you have a right to your own feelings, values and beliefs.
You don’t have to be “nice” to people who aren’t nice to you.
You have a need and a right to love, respect and stand up for yourself.
You have a right to be who you are and to live your own life harmlessly, regardless of whether others like it or not.
You don’t have to feel guilty for not behaving as others might want you to, or for not giving others what they expect of you.
You have a right to your imperfections and shortcomings: you don’t have to feel guilty for not being perfect.
You are completely acceptable just as you are right at this moment, with whatever sensations, thoughts and feelings you are experiencing.
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